From the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA)

Issue #45: May, 2009 What’s Your Parenting Style?  Choices, Commands or Caving-in The U.S. Government has a web page on their web site, FirstGov, specifically for parents:  firstgov.gov/Topics/Parents.shtml.  This information on parenting styles was adapted from several articles on their website.   There are many opinions about how to raise children. Most parents adopt the methods their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers.  However, psychologists and other social scientists now know which parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children. Although there are many parenting methods and styles, you can basically reduce them all into three main categories: (1) authoritarian, (2) permissive and (3) democratic. Authoritarian Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do; try to make them obey; and usually do not provide children with choices or options. Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules. Permissive Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules and these rules are not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept their children in a warm and loving way, however the children behave. Permissive parents give their children as many choices as possible, even when the children are not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept children's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved. Democratic or Authoritative Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children doing something positive" and reinforce that behavior, rather than focusing on behaviors they don’t like. For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them, get hurt and a toy might be broken." Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?”  Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely." Which Is Your Style? Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem. What is the Best Parenting Style? The truth is, parents most likely use a combination of all three of these styles from time to time. Depending on the situation, the age of your child, your child's developmental and maturity level, and your child's temperament, using a combination of styles or adhering to one particular one may be appropriate. No matter what the parenting style, all children need the following: - Clear expectations: Make sure they know what is expected of them. Younger children are very concrete and literal. Make sure your expectations are based on their ages and abilities. Make sure they know what is “right” and “wrong”. - Clear consequences: Make sure they know what will happen or won't happen when they behave in a specific way, do not follow directions, or make good or bad choices. - Consistency: Predictability is very important in children’ lives. They need to be able to count on you to follow through with what you say and to have enough structure in their lives for them to be able to feel safe and secure. - Caring: All children need to feel cared for, safe, and loved. No parenting style will work unless you build a loving bond with your child. For more information:  U.S. Department of Education http://www.ed.gov/parents/earlychild/ready/healthystart/twelvemonth.pdf University of Florida IFAS Extension http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/FY1052   Children Deserve Safety! No Federal Child Care Funds for Violent Convicted Felons! Parents want their children to be safe in child care. NACCRRA's “Parents' Perceptions of Child Care in the United States: NACCRRA's National Parent Poll” shows that most parents assume that states have conducted a background check on providers - particularly for providers of licensed and government-subsidized care. However, background check requirements vary greatly by state.  Parents simply can't know if a provider has a violent criminal history unless a thorough background check is completed--one that includes state and federal fingerprint checks, a check of the child abuse and neglect registries, and the sex offender registries. Most states do not conduct a state and federal fingerprint check on child care providers. A thorough background check is the only way parents can know if a provider has a violent criminal history. For child care centers, the reality about background checks is: Type of Background Check and Number of States Requiring Child Abuse Registry -- 45 State Fingerprint Check -- 30 Federal & State Fingerprint Check -- 25 Sex Offender Registry -- 15 Require a check of all of the above -- 10 As the following table shows, states have even fewer requirements for family child care homes: Type of Background Check and Number of States Requiring Name-based Criminal Records Check -- 45 Child Abuse Registry -- 40 State Fingerprint Check -- 27 Federal Fingerprint Check -- 25 Sex Offender Registry -- 16 Juvenile Records Check -- 10 Whether parents receive a subsidy for child care or not, they need to know that their children are safe in child care - that their child care provider does not have a history of sexual offenses, child abuse or other violent crimes. NACCRRA recommends that required background checks include state and federal checks of criminal history records using fingerprints, child abuse registries and sex offender registries.  To find out your states regulations go to:  http://www.naccrra.org/map/ click on your state and look for Information on Child Care Regulations.  Take Action:  http://highqualitychildcare.org/campaign/backgroundchecksPC We’re Thrilled to Announce the Offical Launch of Child Care Aware® Parent Network Over the past several years, NACCRRA has planned to build and launch a FREE network for parents that would have the: the credibility of AARP the flexibility of a 21st century online organization the grassroots depth that Child Care Resource & Referral (CCR&R) agencies can deliver into communities. We’re pleased to announce that on March 11, 2009, the Child Care Aware® Parent Network (CCAPN) was officially launched with a new look and feel and robust interactivity. CCAPN is a free membership organization specifically for parents and those who care about and for children. The goal of CCAPN is to provide free meaningful, relevant and important information about parenting and child care so our members will become well-informed child care consumers and well-connected advocates. CCAPN includes interactive resources that will bring together people who share a need to know more about how to purchase and use child care, and who want to share their concerns about access to safe, affordable and nurturing child care. We encourage you to join us to: network and share your expert knowledge, skills, insights and concerns receive parenting information and e-mail newsletters that you can use in your community access "members only" online content and research reports. The web site is only a tool to make the network strong. It's the backbone for the connections we hope to make among parents, advocates, providers, policymakers and the media. We hope you will log on at www.CCAParentNetwork.org to register to begin taking advantage of the deep content and interactive features. RAISE YOUR HAND FOR CHILD CARE! Join us! It's completely free and there's no obligation to do anything other than learn more about high-quality child care!  www.CCAParentNetwork.org  Organizations That Advocate for Children and Families NACCRRA, National Association of Child Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, the publisher of Parent Central Express and our nation's leading voice for child care, is a 501(c)(3) organization. Since 1987, NACCRRA has been working to improve the system of early learning for children by: Providing training, resources, and best practices standards to local and state Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies; Promoting national policies and partnerships that facilitate universal access to high quality child care; Collecting, analyzing, and reporting current child care data and research, and; Offering child care and parenting resources to families and connecting families to local CCR&R services. The Every Child Matters Education Fund is a 501(c)(3) non-profit, non-partisan organization working to make children, youth, and families a national political priority. ECM promotes the adoption of smart policies for children and youth. MomsRising is working to bring together millions of people who share a common concern about the need to build a more family-friendly America. Started in May of 2006, MomsRising works to create cultural and legislative change to advance workplace policies that will support families. First Five Years Fund is committed to improving the lives of at-risk children by leveraging cost-effective investments in early learning. FFYF aims to focus nationwide attention and resources on comprehensive, quality early care and learning programs for children from birth to age five. The National Association for the Education of Young Children is dedicated to improving the well-being of all young children, with particular focus on the quality of educational and developmental services for all children from birth through age 8. NAEYC is committed to becoming an increasingly high performing and inclusive organization. These are only a few of the great organizations that work to advance the cause of child care in the US. Every month, we will bring you information about more great organizations focused on the needs of children and families. Parent Central Express is the monthly e-newsletter of Parent Central, a program dedicated to helping parents access information on children's issues and resources on parenting. Parent Central is a program of the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA).

Activities for Parents & Children Our Play and Learn Library is full of fun, easy, and interactive things to you with your child.         PCE Blog Watch The Parents We Mean to Be  Blog for parents on Psychology Today Blogs: Commentary, Research and News that cover all aspects of Human Behavior, from the workings of the brain, to relationships and the larger cultural forces that influence our decisions.   Get Connected Child care is a fact of life for most American families - there are nearly 12 million children under age 5 in child care each week. High-quality child care helps parents work and children learn. NACCRRA is committed to raising awareness about the importance of children's issues.